The Tortoise, the Hare, and the Networking Race
Why the race-to-the-finish networker always loses.
By Stacy Luke

 Networking events used to frighten me. How do you strike up a conversation (that's meaningful) with people who know you're hoping to pick up some new business? Especially when all of them are there for exactly the same reason?

Too often, networking events are bursting with over-eager, over-promising, and over-budgeted individuals, all in a race to the finish line—the next person who might send some business their way. But there must be some thoughtful professionals mixing in the crowd! You can't be the only one. So how do you identify potential referral partners who will treat you as more than just a transaction?

Just remember the Tortoise is a more effective networker than the Hare. Slow and steady really does win the race! Can you spot your networking style?

» You are trying to decide which networking event to attend. There are many from which to choose—how do you determine which race to enter?
• Hare: I have a pretty full schedule. I guess I need to see which one fits in. It can't be too early in the morning, and Mondays are definitely out because it takes me forever to get my week started. Maybe in a couple of weeks I'll have more time. Oh heck, I'll just skip lunch tomorrow and go to the first one I see on the calendar. Better get this thing going before I get distracted!
• Tortoise: This is quite a list of events in my area. I think I'll call the chamber and ask for more information on each of these. Different professionals probably attend different ones, and I want to make sure I attend one that will attract the people I want to meet. If it meets my criteria, I'll build my schedule around it.

» Now that I've decided to attend, how should I prepare?
• Hare: I've packed my business cards and and my BlackBerry so I can schedule a follow-up lunch with everyone I meet. I'll be a 90-minute wonder!
• Tortoise: I have my cards and a pen, and I have invited a couple of clients to go with me. We met for coffee and shared the specific types of people we would like to meet. We have a plan already prepared—to focus on introducing each other rather than ourselves. It will be more effective if someone else is singing my praises rather than me, and I'm happy to return the favor to my clients. By doing this for someone else's benefit, I'm not nervous anymore!

» How do I actually network while I'm there?
• Hare: I have a goal! I brought 100 business cards with me, and I'm not leaving until I have passed them all out. That's the way to meet people and get my name out there! I've practiced my elevator speech so my pitch will roll smoothly off my tongue. I only have an hour and a half, so I'd better walk right up to people and start talking.
• Tortoise: Okay, my cards are in one pocket and my pen is in the other. I'm going to station myself by the door and greet people as they come in. I have three conversation starters prepared to get beyond the initial introductions: How did you get into your line of work? What do you love most about your job—other than working with people? And who did you come here to meet that I might be able to introduce you to? Helping other people get what they want definitely makes this whole networking thing easier!

» It's over! Now what do I do with the contacts I made?
• Hare: I have a pocket full of business cards and a few lunches already scheduled. I'm going to call all of these people right away. "Hello, Carl? This is Harey. We met at the networking event yesterday. You know—I was the one in the black suit? Oh, well maybe you would remember me better if we met for coffee. I'm scheduling meetings with a number of people I met yesterday, so you'll probably want to get on my calendar right away."
• Tortoise: I met a lot of people, four of whom really stand out as people with whom I would like to do business. I'll call them and see when we can schedule another meeting.

"Hello, Stan? This is Tori. We met yesterday at the networking event? Oh yes, I was happy to help introduce you to Austin. When you told me you wanted to meet a banker, I'm glad I knew just the person. I was calling to see if you would like to have lunch with Austin and me this week. We would like to get to know you and your company better. Are you available on Friday?"

» Help! I'm not an over-promiser but I am an over-budgeted networker, and the whole reason I network is to increase my revenue! How do I turn those contacts into contracts?
• Hare: I've made a list of individuals whom I would like to have as clients. Now I need to call the people that I met again and find out who they can introduce me to. Ask and I shall receive, that's what I always say!
• Tortoise: After several meetings, I have carefully developed a list of those people my new 'referral partners' would like to have as clients. Now I need to make some phone calls and create some introductions for them. If I hadn't asked whom I could help them meet, they probably wouldn't have cared about whom I want to meet. Now we each have lists to work on for each other. Ask and we ALL shall receive, that's what I always say!

A networking event doesn't have to be scary, and should be viewed as the beginning to some long and strong relationships. The key to real success lies in our approach. Instead of being a Race-To-The-Finish Networker, we should focus on how—and with whom—we are running. After all, the finish is always sweeter when we share it with others.

Stacy Luke is Executive Director of BNI Central Washington